We were blessed to wake up with another cool morning, today. I open windows to let the crisp, fresh air blow in and awaken our sleepy eyes. Molly munches on cereal, as I blend a handful of fresh fruit and yogurt. Then I stand in front of the window, with my smoothie, and nothing could make me want to be anywhere else in the world.
I am so happy that I get to share my life with you, my love. Before going to bed, I love how we, together, go and check on our baby and giggle about the crazy position she has fallen asleep in, then quickly exit once we have caused her to stir, because we can't seem to keep from stroking her soft cheek. I love how when Molly cries you look like you're about to fall apart, yourself. I am so proud to be the woman who's husband has just opened the door for and quickly catches up to slip your arm around. Incase I haven't said it yet today...I love you and I love this life you have given me.
I love waiting for your morning phone call and feeling like we haven't talked for like ever and how just seeing your truck pull in the drive way gives me so much joy. You are my pillar, the foundation of our family, our protector. Because of you, I get to see Molly's sleepy eyes every morning and not have to rush off to work. I am the lucky mom. I get to cuddle with her after naptime for as long as she wants and consider laundry to be the priority of work for the day.
I love how doing laundry, ironing, and patching jeans can make me feel womanly. I always imagined house work would make you feel worn, used and under appreciated. I receive so much satisfaction from folding stacks of jeans, knowing tomorrow morning my husband will be able to have his pick from which ever pair he wants. Even as feminist and liberal my ideas of life were, you can't argue nature. When I do laundry for my husband, it's not because he made me or assumes I know I'm suppose to do it, it's because I love him. When he get's up at six o'clock to go to work and I stay in bed, it's not because he's suppose to go to work, it's because he loves me. Decluttering your mind from complications out of your control can help in understanding life and the role with which you belong.
Once I finally let go, let nature sweep me along instead of pushing against the strength of what is suppose to be, I found happiness. I found my home. My views of life were like Molly trying to fit into a shoe box. If you told me I couldn't, I'd try harder. And I may succeed, but it's not going to be very comfortable. I didn't want to be a stay-at-home-mom. I wanted the kind of success that is valued in the worldy eyes of nothing. I wanted to be viewed as important and powerful. Little did I know how important and powerful mothers are!
Once again, I find myself struggling between my complicated mind and nature. Nature seems to want to take me into the next chapture of our life together, while my mind wants to stop change from happening. These are times when I am glad I have a husband and there is a God. I know my husband will support my decision now matter what it is and I know that God will help me to make the right decision.
July is gone and August has arrived, therefore I feel the need to remind that there are 52 days until the official start to Fall or Autumn, if you prefer. The picture is from a year ago tomorrow. I don't realize how big Molly has gotten until I look at pictures from last year. Her hair is so much lighter now and the baby-ness is fading fast. She has changed so much in one tiny year. But, change is a good thing. Change means she is healthy and growing. The hard part is enjoying the change and not trying to prevent it.