Friday, May 27, 2011

You can fix anything with a kiss...

Taking a quick break before the weekend gets crazy.

As much as I love lazy Saturday mornings with doughnuts and cheerios and jammies until noon, I also love crazy, hectic, full o' family weekends. Big fun to come. But first there's work. Work that involves grocery shopping, dessert making and packing. More to come on our weekend later.

I had to post this picture not to show off the biggest green pepper ever, but to show off Molly's biggest most perfect double chin ever. Just sayin', girl's kind'a talented.

~Mommy Bird

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

My fears and Sleep

In the beginning, the very beginning, we had two weeks of happy, sleepy, perfect baby. She slept all the time. We would lay her down and watch movies together and marvel at how angelic a sleeping infant looked. Then on the day she turned two weeks old, Molly bird decided that she didn't want to sleep anymore and was then awake for the next year of her life.

Baby birdy did sleep on occasion, but that was only if I let her sleep on my chest. Little by little she began to sleep for a few minutes in her crib and after a lot of work, and a lot of tears, she would sleep part of the night in the crib. By then, I was attached to her sleeping with us and had a really really hard time putting her in the crib. I guess that's just part of being a mother, having that desire to keep her close the more she would grow, the more she would change.

Even now, I'll wake up late at night and want her little body close to mine. I've even risked waking her up to take a peak at her to make sure she's okay. And I know I shouldn't, but sometimes after Marshal has left for work and if Molly has woken up early, I'll lay her in bed next to me instead of laying her back in the crib. She'll give me hugs and snuggle next to me as I watch her sleepy eyes slowly close when she slips off back to sleep. There aren't words to explain how I cherish these moments. How the early rays of the morning sun make her cheeks that much sweeter. How the crisp new air makes her little body that much snugglier. How I want to tell my husband over and over again thank-you. Thank-you for this time with her. Thank-you for giving her to me.

After I found out we were expecting again, I of course cried. If I said I cried because I was just so freakin' happy, that would be a lie. I cried because of the coward in me. Because I knew we would have to go through ALL of this again. The days when the only sleep I get is for forty minutes. The days when the baby is soundly sleeping in it's crib after months of work, and I still only get forty minutes of sleep because I'm up all night worrying about things like SIDS. The nights when my heart wants the baby's heart next time mine, because for nine months they were inseparable.

It will be hard. I know I will struggle. And in moments when I feel like I can't handle the lack of strength, the stress and the heartache, I will think about these amazing, wonderful mornings. I will draw from the beauty God has given me. I will refill my empty cup with thoughts of peaceful mornings once again....

Mornings where everything is okay...and this time, there will two. Two little bodies snuggled next to mine. Double the cheeks to kiss. Double the love.


Thursday, May 12, 2011

Uncle Tony's Wedding

This picture is a perfect example of the calm before the storm of a weekend we had. This past weekend was "Uncle Tony's WEDDING!" I think Molly has been screaming that for two weeks now. She was pumped. We'd been talking it up for awhile to her, because she was going to be the flower girl in the wedding and I was hoping she's perform.

Marshal took the Friday off, so we had a really nice calm morning. I can't remember the last time The Big Marsh took off work. We slept in. I slowly packed. I showered. It was great and the party of a weekend hadn't even begun.

The wedding was in Cincinnati, so we loaded up the car for two days and hit the road. Molly was fully prepared. We had books. We had baby dolls and pillows and blankets. There were all sorts of toys and snacks, but.....

...ten minutes down the road and Molly was out. She slept the whole way.

Later that evening, we went to the rehearsal. Of course, Molly was super duper uncooperative and decided flying like a birdy was way more fun than doing anything that I asked her.

But I can dig. Sometimes when I see a long piece of sidewalk, I get the urge to spread my arms and run like a mad lady too.

She got whatever she needed to out during the rehearsal, because when it came down to game time she performed perfectly. I truly couldn't have asked for more.

A minute before the wedding ceramony began, I left Molly with the bridesmaids to find a seat. I was nervous. I was terrified. I just begged that I wouldn't hear her crying from inside, not wanting to wait her turn or cooperate or being afraid because I wasn't there. But all of my nerves vanished the minute I saw her walking through the door and around the corner to come find me after all the bridesmaids had walked the isle. She looked a little confused until her eyes met mine. Then she knew where to go. As she walked closer to me I waved her on to her daddy, waiting at the alter next to the groom. Molly went running down the isle with little pink flower petals flying madly from her basket to meet her daddy. It was perfect.

I was so proud. I was surprised at how much seeing her walking out the door and down the isle made me so emotional. The only way I could explain the tears streaming down my cheeks was because of how proud I felt. She had done it all on her own, without me.

I know there will be many more of these moments in my life when my heart is so full that it bursts and overflows into tears down my cheeks. I never ever could have imagined how this love effects me. I never could have imagined what it would be like to be that proud, that happy.

I look forward to sharing this story with her when she gets older. I love that I can tell her how her father's face beamed with pride when she came running down the isle to get to his side. And I know her Uncle Tony will remind her how much it meant to him to have his Godchild in his wedding.

Molly with my new sister-in-law. 

During dinner, I thought Molly looked so cute with her napkin tied around her neck, holding onto her water cup.

I don't know who the bubbles were entertaining more, Marshal or Molly.

Later in the evening, I changed Molly into jammies so she could tear it up on the dance floor without tearin' up her dress.

I think she would have stayed on the dance floor all night if I hadn't intervened and scooped her away to give the tipsy partiers a little more space. We found a lovely chair a little further away from the speakers where Molly collapsed onto my lap and fell asleep.

It really was a wonderful weekend spent with family and friends. I'm so lucky to have all these loving people in my child's life!


Wednesday, May 4, 2011


I love getting rid of the old to bring in the new, I love organizing and I love clearing out. The change in the seasons usually sends me in a organizing frenzy. But when it comes to Molly's closet and putting away Molly's out-grown clothing, I'm absolutely terrified. I am a coward when it comes to change. Especially this kind of change. Change when you put pretty Christmas dresses away knowing she won't be able to wear it again next year, because next year she will be a year older. Change that is irreversible. Change that is out of my hands.

Every time I pull a favorite shirt or an adorable dress from the closet I feel that same twinge of pain. I feel that same anxiety. That same fear. I know that the articles of clothing are just that, articles of clothing, but I can't help but feel with every outfit I put away I'm putting away a piece of my baby. My baby is slipping away into an adventurous, imaginative, smart little girl and there's nothing I can do about it.

She is growing. Her concentration face kills me. She's processing, she's understanding and she's soaking it all in. This change I am proud of. My husband and I are building a foundation for our lives, for our children and every time she smiles and tells me she's "happy now," I know the change is okay. The other day, we were chillin' and she said something to me and she knew it was silly. I said, "what did you say?" and she replied, "nothing," with a grin. I see so much of myself in her.

I could probably find a picture of myself pursing my lips the same way. I know I do it all the time.

I may fear change and be a coward at times, but deep down inside I know she will always be Molly and I will always be her mom.


Monday, May 2, 2011

Easter Aftermath

I have begun to really enjoy the days following a holiday. Although it is always hard to leave family and get back to the regular routine of life, I have begun to really appreciate the quiet and calm of the days in between. I will always feel slightly depressed after such an occasion, but how can you really be sad when you have Molly Bird say cute things like "Easter bunny" and tripping over plastic Easter eggs scattered everywhere.

I love having the Easter baskets all over the house days after the holiday has past. Not just because watching someone (aka Big Marsh) nail the basket unknowingly hooking it with his giant size foot and scattering eggs everywhere will make me laugh like I'm drunk every time, but because Easter crap all over the house fuels my holiday loving tank.

I wasn't going to buy plastic eggs, but these were sparkly :).

I've had my eye on a toy coffee maker for awhile now and my mom found it on sale, so we got it for Molly for her birthday. She likes to help when I make coffee, so I knew she was going to love it. Now, in the mornings when I make my cup of joe, she's at my feet making her own. I love her imagination.

It's definitely one of those toys that I know is going to make a mess in the end, but it's totally worth it.

The other evening we christened the driveway with chalk. Nothing is more enjoyable than marking up the cement with Easter egg shaped, pastel colored chalk.

I love spending time after dinner outside. It makes bath time more meaningful, it make babies more sleepy and, mostly, it chills me out. Fresh air is so inviting after this winter.

The in between days, the aftermath... it's full of coffee mug mornings, chalkin' up driveways and spending time with my loves...I couldn't imagine anything better.