Thursday, September 1, 2011

A Baby Story

Welcome to this world baby Johnny. I've waited so long. I've waited my whole life. And here you are. You can never imagine what your children will look like, but then you see them for the first time and you know they look exactly like you had imagined.

His little fingers and toes, everything about him is familiar. Familiar in that I have loved him for forever.  Just moments before his birth, I couldn't imagine what life would be like but once I see him I can't imagine life without him.

The best part, I get to see your daddy fall in love again. He didn't even stand a chance. When he wrapped you in his arms for the first time, he could barely contain his pride. Little did he know what was in store. What God had in store for his life. He is here to be your dad and you, his son. He was made for us.

I could barely sleep the first night we were together, because I couldn't wait to get you home to your sister. I couldn't sleep until we were all together again. Together finally. As excited as I was to meet this new little soul and to get to know every tiny wrinkle on his body, my heart ached for my first born. I couldn't wait to tell her baby Johnny was here and I was able to be her mommy again instead of the grumpy, pregnant mommy I had been the last few weeks.

Our first night together.

I begged the nurses to discharge us early so I didn't have to stay another night away. I wanted to nurse in my bed at home. I wanted to change Johnny's diaper on the changing table with the green, soft pad at home. I wanted to eat real food. I wanted us together and I admit, I missed my Molly bird.

John William and his Godmother, Aunt Marlene

We arrived at the hospital at 10:30ish Monday night and after a few labor contractions, a watering breaking experience, one epidural and a few giant pushes later our baby was in our arms by 10:28am Tuesday morning. He surprised the nurses by how solid he was, but to me when I held him for the first time he felt just right, all 9 pounds and 14.5 ounces of him. Because he is just so gosh darn healthy, the pediatrician discharged us a day early and by Wednesday evening we were all tucked soundly in our own beds in our own house. Together.

It had been quite the experience and we're all still adjusting one week later. Adjusting to the lack of sleep. Adjusting to nursing, again. Adjusting to the little brother taking up most of big sister's time with mommy.

She really does love him. Early today when Johnny was crying, Molly asked if she could hold him. It was so sweet, I started crying. Whether it's the lack of sleep or the baby blues, it doesn't take very much for me to be in tears lately. I can barely hum a bar of Rock-a-bye baby to Molly without crying.

Every time I change his diaper, she wants to help get the diaper and new onesie, if need be. And she handled it really well when he peed on her while getting his diaper changed a few days ago. The biggest difference between Molly as a baby and Johnny is that while changing his diaper I find myself chanting, "please don't pee on me.....please don't pee on me....please don't pee on me."

I love staring at his face and trying to figure out where all his features came from. Who's noes he has. Where his dimples came from. If his hair will stay dark or will it lighten like Molly's did.

I already have millions of pictures like this. Sleeping. Another big difference from sister. He sleeps.


When Molly saw this picture, she climbed up in my lap and wanted me to hold her the same way. And every time I kiss Johnny, she wants a kiss too.

More to come later.


1 comment:

  1. Wow. WOW. WOOOOW! So much to say. He's so so cute it's ridiculous and you wrote so beautifully about everything. It's a neat but emotional experience to have number 2 and learn to balance and expand your love for two kiddos...the best! I want to bring you dinner sometime soon and meet your little one. I'll have to text/call you soon!